The Strange Things In Buenos Aires

That I am now incredibly accustomed to...

• Middle-aged women chasing after buses in pink platform shoes
  
• Dreads are cool, mullets are awesome, but only the combination of the two approaches true greatness
  
• 15 minutes late = on time (or potentially early)
  
• Sandals, heels, or--hell--anything other than military-grade boots are simply not fit to take on the post-apocalyptic cracked sidewalks and dog poop mines that plague the city 
  
• $2 USD bottles of wine at the grocery store make the world go round
  
• Most good stories start with "Habia un loco en el subte/colectivo/boliche..." (There was a crazy person in subway/bus/club)
  
• Trying to get to the club before 2 a.m. to gain free entrance is a true challenge--best to go at 3:30 and try to walk in without paying anyway
  
• While I once thought everyone was staring at me, the foreigner, I now understand that we stare at everyone...for no particular reason 
  
• Sidewalks and subways are great places to buy everything you need in life, from fresh produce to glittery stickers & pens to underwear
  
• Even the strictest of diets have room for dulce-de-leche-filled, chocolate-covered alfajores 
  
• All head of government buildings should by painted pink and illuminated with neon lights at night because...why not?
  
• No matter what type of music scene is advertised, by 5:30-6 a.m. cumbia & reggaeton will prevail
  
• Ordering half the amount of meat you think you can eat leads to double the amount of food that two people actually consume...it's pure math
  
• When no one brings the mate to class, it's going to be a long one...
  
• In order to get any task accomplished, you will waste time & money doing it the "official" way, while you will waste only time doing it the informal way
• The best music, dance, and theatre performances are free, or at least available at some time for free with a little bit of effort
  
• I can't wait to hear the results of the decades-old turf war between taxi drivers and bus drivers...it's WWIII
  
• Argentine friends will describe any place they have visited, any activity enjoyed, any thing ever gazed up as lindo, divino, hermoso, increible and forcefully tell you that you must go, do, see exactly what they did
  
• Fashion means taking crazy prints on odd fabrics in strange shapes and putting it on one's body.
  
• Coffee, toast, juice, crackers, Coca-Cola Life, meat, potatoes, salad, wine, repeat.
  
• Two days without a Fernet & Coke will lead to intense, animal-like, potentially dangerous cravings